I told myself there was no reason I shouldn't be able to go. The girls were in their twenty's and out of the house. The suburbs were closing in on me and so was my daily routine. So I told Paul that I wanted to go away - for a while - by myself.
My idea was to enroll in a 4 week immersive Spanish language program in Costa Rica. I rationalized that I never got to study abroad like my daughters had. And so I left my husband of 26 years home with our two dogs and washing machine directions so I could go off and have an adventure.
Once there, I attended classes Monday through Friday, and on the weekends, I joined group excursions to remote beaches and lazed on hammocks. It was on a Saturday, with literally nothing to do but admire my surroundings, that my eyes caught a yellow butterfly flitting about a yellow hibiscus.
The butterfly seemed to disappear as the yellow of it's graceful wings camouflaged easily against the yellow hibiscus. I had to focus to keep from losing sight of it. Somewhere between focusing and spacing out, my life changed.
I heard myself suck in my breath as my brain caught up with the message my soul had already synthesized.
Paul has always called me "Flower", because he thinks I'm pretty and delicate - I know - sweet - right?
In that moment of crystal clear clarity however, I understood the lesson the Universe was showing me....."I'm Not the flower, I'm the butterfly!!!"
As endearing as it was that my husband had affectionately referred to me as his beautiful flower, the term limited how I saw myself and what was possible.
I was and am, in fact, the butterfly.
Only in honoring my free-spirited nature can I feed my soul and continue to heal.
I yearn to be light and truly free, moving untethered through time and space as my journey continues.
I’m drawn towards all that serves to educate and enliven me and attract those who also seek connection and compassion, direction and fulfillment.
I’m studying, traveling, writing, meeting new people, gaining knowledge and wisdom, finding and sharing inspiration, but mostly loving, evolving and sharing.
I am connecting to my power and helping others to heal, accept and love themselves.
The Flower and the Butterfly is my essence as I am both free-spirited and deeply connected to my family. Seeing myself as a flower while my spirit yearned to fly embodies my struggle. My epiphany represents my joy of rediscovering and giving myself permission to be me.
So welcome to my blog and my primary platform for far-reaching connection and communication, thus fulfilling my soul’s purpose to help others heal themselves as I have helped myself to heal. It is my deepest desire that once we heal ourselves, that together, we can heal the world.
With deep gratitude and compassion, I welcome you to join me, wherever you are on your journey.